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An Open Love Letter To …

To our readers,

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Well hello there, Bradley Cooper.

It’s a pleasure getting to write this love letter to you. Is it too brash to say I love you? Meh. Whatever, that’s the point of an open love letter. You’re great, really great. And for a variety of reasons, so I’ll just start with the basics.

Your face. Yup, that flawless face looks good with or without scruff. You’ve got the bluest eyes that make me feel like I’m swimming in an ocean when I stare into them. Too cliché? Whatever. It’s true. I’ve seen them in person, so I feel like I can say that. Your hair is kind of flawless too. It’s always perfectly styled. Well, not always, you have had some questionable looks for your locks, but that’s okay. And then there is your perfect smile. Swoon.

You are a very talented actor, as well. To be nominated for Oscars is an incredible feat, so congratulations on your Oscar noms. Best of luck, can’t wait to see your other films and all that jazz.

You are so funny to boot! Your game of charades with Jimmy, Tim and Emma (Thompson is my queen!!!) had me rolling with laughter. Nice try with “Walk Like an Egyptian.” You were close….kind of. And your Between Two Ferns appearances are always perfect.

YOU SPEAK FRENCH AND SOUND SO GOOD WHEN YOU DO. IS SEXY TOO MUCH? WELL THAT’S WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE. (Sorry. I just really appreciate a man that can speak more than one language.)

I’m not much of a drinker either, so we can do some other activities. You studied English at Georgetown and have talked about your love of literature, so I think we should get coffee, read books and chat about em—eh? What do you say?

I think it’s adorable that you still live with your mom (sorry, she lives with you). When you talked with Ellen about it, I couldn’t help but smile. And taking your mom to the Golden Globes/potentially these Oscars is even better. A man that treats him mom well is a great one, so you must be one of the best.

Don’t ever change for anybody,
Anjelica Oswald
@thisisjelli

This is one of my favorite videos ever

What better way to celebrate the week of Valentine’s Day than by writing a letter to the one true love of my life, Joseph Gordon-Levitt?

My dearest Joseph,

Where do I begin? I guess we can start with your face. Your flawless face, impeccable smile, perfect hair—which all combined together make me melt like snow under the sun. You look good in a suit, sweater-vest, winter jacket, t-shirt, glasses…everything and anything, really.

You are a man of many talents. Whether you are encouraging artists through film, music, writing, spoken word or what have you, you’ve created a place for them at hitREcord. You are hilarious—has everyone seen the Lip Sync Off? Because if not, WATCH IT HERE. You wrote and directed your own movie (fabulous by the way), and you are a terrific actor in all you do. You can sing…..like for real, and that makes me all sorts of happy.

Then there is the fact that you consider yourself a feminist. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE YOU PERFECT GENTLEMAN, YOU. You tell people the best way to get a girl is to listen because it’s common human courtesy. When you were on Ellen, you described your objection to female objectification and gender norms because we can be anything we want to be. And you’re a gentleman in your own right anyway, such as when you helped Ann Hathaway fix her dress. You are also so respectable and just so caring. You love your mom, and you aren’t afraid to show it! HALLELUJAH!

Once upon a time you said The Catcher in the Rye was your favorite book. Well, it’s mine, so we can just sit and chat about Holden and why the book is so good. You have such a wonderful insight to the world, and I really want to just have a conversation so I can try to understand how one person can be so wonderful.

I’ve loved you since I saw 10 Things I Hate About You and will continue to love you. Please continue taking selfies and being the best person on the planet. The world is better for having you in it.

All my love,
Anjelica Oswald
@thisisjelli

Dearest Seth Meyers,

I should probably start this letter off by saying that you and your wife are so adorable. I really just can’t handle it, sir. You are both so smart and passionate about life—it’s quite amazing. 

But on to that smile of yours. It is so big and bright and perfect (and the dimples) and it makes my heart melt. That flawless face and impeccable hair paired with your blue eyes is a recipe for perfection.

You wrote Spider-Man: The Short Halloween for Marvel, and since Marvel is my favorite, I find that to be absolutely brilliant.

You’re a funny man who also stands for what you believe in, such as helping with the Worldwide Orphans Foundation. And you are politically involved, which is great!

You’ve shown your acting chops and humor on SNL and Weekend Update, making me tune in every week to see what you’ve come up with. You extended your humor to your cartoon The Awesomes, and now, you are heading to host your own show. You are going to do such an amazing job, and I can’t wait to see what you accomplish. I’ll be catching you on Late Night Feb. 24.

Best of luck,
Anjelica Oswald
@thisisjelli

Upper photo by Peter Yang for Glamour 

My dear Michael B. Jordan,

How are you doing this fine afternoon? I have a bone to pick with you my fine friend, but I swear I don’t mean that in a bad way. My problem is this: you are too nice to even be real.

In doing my research for this weekly love letter, I’ve found myself amazed at the type of person you are, which is adorable and kind and sweet and smart and just overall amazing.

There is a saying that talks about how you know how great a man is by how he treats his mother, and you love your mom so much! The selfies, the red carpet events—I’m swooning.

You’re also a fabulous actor. Whether you’re playing an intense role such as Oscar Grant in Fruitvale Station or acting in a rom com such as the recently released That Awkward Moment, you put your all into your role, and that is great.

You are also incredibly attractive, flawless really. That smile of yours can brighten up even the most gray of days. You are chiseled, which is also very nice, and I will not complain about that. Also, you can pull off anything. Whether it’s a sweater, a suit, bow ties, the old-fashioned look (found in that photo below), plain old t-shirt, beanie—I could sit here and list every item of clothing found on this planet, but I probably shouldn’t do that—you look really nice in it. 

On another note, you told Oprah that you haven’t had a serious girlfriend, and well, I haven’t had a serious boyfriend, so there’s that.

Anyway, you aren’t afraid to show emotions, and I love that. You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and you don’t forget what the most important parts of life are—family and happiness. You have large goals and a solid work ethic, and there is no doubt in my mind that you are going to continue to go far. I’ll be a fan until the end.

Oh, and you’re selfie game is on point, so you keep you that up. I will not ever complain.

I wish you all the best,
Anjelica Oswald
@thisisjelli

Well hello there John,

Some people may know you as an amazingly talented musician/Tony award-winning Broadway star.  Others may know you as the lovable Jim Harper on HBO’s The Newsroom. Then there are the folks who may know you from the indie film Short Term 12. And obviously there are the folks who know you from all or a mixture of the above. I am one of those people who knew you were an amazing musician, but I have never been able to see your talents live *cries*. As for The Newsroom, I’m late to the bandwagon but I have two more episodes in season 2 to watch then I am all caught up. And yes, I am as in love with Jim Harper as the rest of the world should be. And with Short Term 12? Well, it’s been on my to-see list since I first heard about it, so I’ll get right on that. I have heard nothing but amazing things.

Now, you play these nice guys, and every interview I’ve read just has everyone going on and on about how you really are that nice of a person. Congratulations on being an all-around fantastic human being. It makes me incredibly happy to know that there is a reason my love for you extends past your impeccable hair, flawless style, brilliant smile and marvelous voice.

Also, you have the most adorable laugh in the entire world. I cannot stand the greatness of it.

Anyway, you collect records, and I collect records, so let’s put a record on, make some dinner and relax. I think that’d be quite a swell evening.

Much love,
Anjelica Oswald
@thisisjelli

All right Chris Pine,

Can you not? And by can you not, I really mean continue doing what you do because it’s perfect, and there is no need to stop being the best you that you can be. I mean that very sincerely. The movies, the beliefs you stand for, your intelligence, your heart and by just standing there—all of it is just brilliant. Chris Pine, you are so fine.

I’ll start with your face. That lovely face of yours looks good with or without scruff. Those blue eyes of yours are unreal, but I know they are completely real because when I saw them at the London premiere of Star Trek in person—yeah, I was freaking out—I was blown away at their intensity. Also, your hair is flawless, completely impeccable.

But we can move on to what else makes you glorious, and that would be your big heart. Whether it’s raising money to help the homeless or promoting literacy with Milk+Bookies, you care so much about others.

You’re playing Cinderella’s prince in Into the Woods which is an ideal role for you because you are so princely, but what really gets me is the fact that you can sing. Also, you do your own stunts…IS THERE SOMETHING YOU CAN’T DO? For real though.

And to top it off, you’re set with an English degree from UC Berkley and like to read. That’s really all I need to hear. People that likes to read books and are passionate about literature are my favorite kinds of folks, and that means you are one of my favorites. You also care deeply about politics, and I strongly believe everyone needs to have an opinion about the matters that can affect us, so rock on, Mister Pine.

Live long and prosper,
Anjelica Oswald
@thisisjelli