The 2014 Golden Globes: Fey and Poehler comedy dominate, bad speeches and surprises ensue

By Meryl Gottlieb|| @buzzlightmeryl
The 71st Golden Globe Awards aired January 12 on NBC


Tina Fey and Amy Poehler fulfilled part one of their two year deal to host The Golden Globe Awards Sunday, and, just as they did last year, absolutely killed it. I have never enjoyed an award show opening monologue more than when Fey and Poehler are the ones at the helm. Here are just a few of their phenomenal one-liners.

“Meryl Streep. She’s so brilliant in August: Osage County. Proving there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60.”

Gravity is nominated for Best Film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”

“For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, (Matthew McConaughey) lost 45 pounds… or what actresses call being in a movie.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts Netflix because you’re not going to feel so smug in a couple of years when Snapchat is up here accepting Best Drama.”

The dynamic duo were just as brilliant as last year, and I am thrilled that we definitely see them next year. They’re going to become the next Neil Patrick Harris, and I’m not complaining.

Fey and Poehler weren’t the only good thing about tonight’s show. Many wins had me jumping for joy. Poehler finally won for her spectacular performance as Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation. Now if only the show itself could finally win some awards. (Looking at you, Emmys). Leonardo DiCaprio won for his role in The Wolf of Wall Street. Thank you award show gods, Leo shouldn’t have to go another awards season empty-handed; maybe he’ll finally get the Oscar he’s deserved for a decade. FROZEN WON BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM BECAUSE IT IS SPECTACULAR AND ANY OTHER DECISION WOULD HAVE BEEN NONSENSE. Surprisingly, both Brooklyn Nine-Nine and its star, Andy Samberg, won. I love this new show but I never expected it to actually win any awards. I was stunned when the show won against the likes of Modern Family — an award show favorite for the past five years while Samberg beat Jim Parsons. I never saw that coming. I mentioned this when Brooklyn Nine-Nine was simply nominated but now that it won, I’m even more shocked that The Crazy Ones, a fellow well-performing freshmen comedy, wasn’t nominated. Both shows are equally brilliant but I’d give The Crazy Ones awards over Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

t2Some of my favorite moments of the night didn’t have anything to do with the awards. Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ moment during the monologue (it was so great that I must keep referring to it!) was side-splitting. I fell over when she shoved off Reese Witherspoon and denied the attempt to take a selfie with her. Even before the cameras went live, I was laughing as Jennifer Lawrence attempted to tackle Taylor Swift while she was in an interview with Ryan Seacrest. Maybe best of all, Emma Thompson drunkenly presented a category barefoot and with drink in hand; but she’s still classy as hell because she’s British. The Randy “Mr. Golden Globes” bit was outrageously hilarious. Poehler was spectacular, playing a One Direction lookalike who is Fey’s son. After cracking an Olympics joke about Miss Golden Globes Sosie Bacon’s name, Randy then stumbled into the crowd to ask if Idris Elba was his father. Everything was genius.

But it wasn’t all good news. First of all, “LET IT GO” DIDN’T WIN BEST ORIGINAL SONG BECAUSE THE HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS ASSOCIATION IS FILLED WITH IMBECILES. I’m sorry but there are few songs that are more perfect than “Let It Go” and “Ordinary Love” — the winner in the category — is not one of them. American Hustle took home more awards than it deserved. I absolutely agree that Jennifer Lawrence deserves the award for supporting actress because she was the probably the best part of the entire film. The actors in the film (Lawrence, Amy Adams [who won Best Actress], Christian Bale and Bradley Cooper) all performed very well. Character-wise, American Hustle is great; but overall as a film, it lacks severely. TATIANA MASLANY SHOULD HAVE WON FOR ORPHAN BLACK; STOP DOING HER THESE INJUSTICES OF NOT AWARDING HER OUTSTANDING TALENT. The Emmy snub was bad enough.

What on earth was P. Diddy’s deal and why did that Jacqueline Bisset speech happen? Speaking of speeches, the whole “I’m nervous and unprepared because I wasn’t expecting to win” attitude is cute and acceptable but not when every single winner says they are nervous because they didn’t think they would win. Really 12 Years a Slave? Even though every news outlet was pulling for you, you didn’t expect to win. Sure. And it all started with Jennifer Lawrence. I honestly feel like people thought, “The awkward in public thing works for her so I’ll do it too.” Not how it works. The world is in love with Jennifer Lawrence because she’s Jennifer Lawrence and is perfect.

Overall, I think the show was a success. The comedy was always hilarious and some of the categories were really interesting to see who would win. NBC is certainly banking on the right comedy duo to steer the award show to excellence each year.

Here is the full list of winners…

Best Motion Picture, Drama
12 Years a Slave — Winner
Captain Phillips

Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
American Hustle — Winner
Inside Llewyn Davis
The Wolf of Wall Street

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
Cate Blanchett – Blue Jasmine — Winner
Sandra Bullock – Gravity
Judi Dench – Philomena
Emma Thompson – Saving Mr. Banks
Kate Winslet – Labor Day

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
Chiwetel Ejiofor – 12 Years a Slave
Idris Elba – Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Tom Hanks – Captain Phillips
Matthew McConaughey – Dallas Buyers Club — Winner
Robert Redford – All Is Lost

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Amy Adams – American Hustle — Winner
Julie Delpy – Before Midnight
Greta Gerwig – Frances Ha
Julia Louis-Dreyfus – Enough Said
Meryl Streep – August: Osage County

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Christian Bale – American Hustle
Bruce Dern – Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio – The Wolf of Wall Street — Winner
Oscar Isaac – Inside Llewyn Davis
Joaquin Phoenix – Her

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Sally Hawkins – Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence – American Hustle — Winner
Lupita Nyong’o – 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts – August: Osage County
June Squibb – Nebraska

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Barkhad Abdi – Captain Phillips
Daniel Brühl – Rush
Bradley Cooper – American Hustle
Michael Fassbender – 12 Years a Slave
Jared Leto – Dallas Buyers Club — Winner

Best Director – Motion Picture
Alfonso Cuarón – Gravity — Winner
Paul Greengrass – Captain Phillips
Steve McQueen – 12 Years a Slave
Alexander Payne – Nebraska
David O. Russell – American Hustle

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
Spike Jonze – Her — Winner
Bob Nelson – Nebraska
Jeff Pope and Steve Coogan – Philomena
John Ridley – 12 Years a Slave
Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell – American Hustle

Best Foreign Language Film
Blue is the Warmest Color
The Great Beauty — Winner
The Hunt
The Past
The Wind Rises

Best Animated Feature Film
The Croods
Despicable Me 2
Frozen — Winner

Best Original Song – Motion Picture
“Atlas” – The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
“Let It Go” – Frozen
“Ordinary Love” – Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom — Winner
“Please Mr. Kennedy” – Inside Llewyn Davis
“Sweeter Than Fiction” – One Chance

Best Original Score – Motion Picture
Alex Ebert – All Is Lost — Winner
Alex Heffes – Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Steven Price – Gravity
John Williams – The Book Thief
Hans Zimmer – 12 Years a Slave

Best TV Series, Drama
Breaking Bad — Winner
Downton Abbey
The Goodwife
House of Cards
Masters of Sex

Best TV Series, Comedy
The Big Bang Theory
Brooklyn Nine-Nine — Winner
Modern Family
Parks and Recreation

Best TV Movie or Mini-Series
American Horror Story: Coven
Behind the Candelabra — Winner
Dancing on the Edge
Top of the Lake
The White Queen

Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama
Julianna Margulies – The Good Wife
Tatiana Maslany – Orphan Black
Taylor Schilling – Orange is the New Black
Kerry Washington – Scandal
Robin Wright – House of Cards — Winner

Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama
Bryan Cranston – Breaking Bad — Winner
Live Schreiber – Ray Donovan
Michael Sheen – Masters of Sex
Kevin Spacey – House of Cards
James Spader – The Blacklist

Best Actress in a TV Series, Comedy
Zooey Deschanel – New Girl
Lena Dunham – Girls
Edie Falco – Nurse Jackie
Julia Louis-Dreyfus – Veep
Amy Poehler – Parks and Recreation — Winner

Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy
Jason Bateman – Arrested Development
Don Cheadle – House of Lies
Michael J. Fox – The Michael J. Fox Show
Jim Parsons – The Big Bang Theory
Andy Samberg – Brooklyn Nine-Nine — Winner

Best Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie

Helena Bonham Carter – Burton and Taylor
Rebecca Ferguson – White Queen
Jessica Lange – American Horror Story: Coven
Helen Mirren – Phil Spector
Elisabeth Moss – Top of the Lake — Winner

Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie

Matt Damon – Behind the Candelabra
Michael Douglas – Behind the Candelabra — Winner
Chiwetel Ejiofor – Dancing on the Edge
Idris Elba – Luther
Al Pacino – Phil Spector

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie

Jacqueline Bisset – Dancing on the Edge — Winner
Janet McTeer – White Queen
Hayden Panettiere – Nashville
Monica Potter – Parenthood
Sofia Vergara – Modern Family

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie

Josh Charles – The Good Wife
Rob Lowe – Behind the Candelabra
Aaron Paul – Breaking Bad
Corey Stoll – House of Cards
Jon Voight – Ray Donovan — Winner


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