By Meryl Gottlieb| firstname.lastname@example.org| @buzzlightmeryl
American Horror Story: Coven airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on FX
Rating: 4.5/ 5
Man oh man. That’s all I have to say about tonight’s episode of American Horror Story: Coven, which is oh so appropriately titled “The Dead.” The episode deals with death in every way it could: facing an impending death, returning after death and a fresh killing. Buckle up kids; it’s going to be a morbid ride.
Flashback to when Kyle (Evan Peters) was still human and willingly singing Toto’s “Rosanna” at a tattoo parlor with his fraternity brothers. He forgoes the ink, but his friends get tattoos; one gets one on his leg and the other gets one on his arm. Coincidentally, zombie Kyle now has those same tattoos on his body.
I can’t even handle how amazing Peters is in this role. He actually says nothing but acts circles around countless other performances I’ve seen — cough Mulholland Drive, cough Lady in the Water. He groans and whimpers and steals my heart.
Madison (Emma Roberts) is the self-proclaimed face of the millennial generation. She’s narcissistic and numb to the world. She used to live her life in a way that would allow her to purposefully not feel anything. Now, she’d do just about anything to feel something. On the other side, she laments there’s nothing. It’s only cold and dark.
I heard Ryan Murphy was making Madison what he called “the poster person for the millennial generation,” and I have to say that I’m not entirely for this idea. Though her monologue was incredibly well written, it was actually more so depressing than anything. I can understand this point of view from someone in her position, but I’m not really OK with the writers generalizing that attitude to the entire millennial generation. I think instead of being numb to the world, we are more open to an array of emotions. Constantly linked in, we are always in a social interaction and thus always in situations that will conjure up reactions within us. But I digress…
Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) and LaLaurie (Kathy Bates) are bffls, and I LOVE their friendship. It blossomed even more as they bonded over the drive-thru food they got at 3 a.m. Nothing makes people greater friends than a good burger in the early morning. It’s all fun and games until LaLaurie starts talking about how the other girls in the coven — Queenie’s “sisters” — won’t accept her not because of her weight but because of her race. This is going to be important. It’s not just LaLaurie’s old racist ways popping back up in modern day.
Fiona (Jessica Lange) and the Axeman (Danny Huston) have a weird sexual chemistry. They are GREAT together, but the relationship is more than complex. He’s watched her grow up and his love has evolved from a fatherly love into the love of a man; creepy. He’s in love with her but she’s hesitant and I’m pretty sure it’s not just because her hair is falling out — a moment that is always followed by some “dun dun dun” type of music, you know, for added effect.
Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) tries to teach Kyle how to communicate. It’s just a minute-long scene but my goodness was it adorable. I can’t stress enough how much I love Peters. I mean look at him. Come on! Adorable.
Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) runs into Madison and “sees” that Fiona was her killer. Delia then calls in Zoe to talk about how they need to kill her mother, especially if Zoe’s powers continue to grow and she becomes even more of a “hot shot witch.”
First, they need a confession. Zoe ties Spalding (Denis O’Hare) to his bed and puts his tongue back in his mouth! After all these years, Myrtle’s enchantment still works. Because he has to, he admits that Fiona is the one who killed Madison and admits again that he is in love with and worships her. You think, Zoe would just let him go, but nope. She stabs him!!! Every character is going dark but I kind of love it.
Queenie asks LaLaurie what was the worst thing she had ever done because she should know both her good side and the other if they are to be “true friends.” LaLaurie tells her grim tale. A black servant had a child by her husband so she killed that baby and used its blood for her anti-aging beauty products. The woman killed herself in response.
Kathy Bates is a terrifyingly good actress. I love her as a villain.
Madison bonds with Kyle over the fact that they’ve both died and now wonder whether or not it was worth anyone’s bother to bring them back. That connection turns quickly turns into a quickie. Probably my favorite Tumblr reaction to this is the question of how Kyle can barely hold a spoon yet he’s totally capable of screwing Madison? But really though.
The worst part of it all? Zoe saw it and she’s not too happy. Awh don’t worry girl. Just join them. Yup. It happened. The poster was true. We got a three-way. Zoe just got out of the shower, Madison invites her to the bedroom with her and Kyle and Kyle reaches out for her — oh, now he’s super civilized. Did Madison train him with sex? Zoe’s towel drops and they get to it.
I cannot wait for this to blow up. All the repercussions.
And here’s an observation for you to ponder: Evan Peters and Emma Roberts are dating in real life. Evan Peters and Taissa Farmiga are actual soulmates and have beautiful chemistry but only date on screen. The three of them just had a three way. Oh the irony. I love it.
Our interracial bffls may not actually be bffls. Queenie had gone to Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) earlier looking for a place to fit in. Marie says Queenie can join her world only if she brings LaLaurie to her. Oh no. Say it ain’t so!!!!! So Queenie tricks LaLaurie by making her think she’s taking her to get her hair done but instead takes LaLaurie to Cornrow City to turn her over to Marie! LaLaurie looks absolutely betrayed and heartbroken — in other words, the way I felt. I’m devastated their bff status is kaput. I’m only deducting points from the overall rating because I’m sad about the demise of their friendship.
Marie locks LaLaurie in a cage, and Queenie accepts the offer to “make the first cut.” We end with Marie mocking LaLaurie’s beauty techniques by painting blood on her face. All she says is “Beautiful.”
Excuse me, I need a Xanax. I cannot take how absolutely amazing Bassett is. She is so intense and so sassy, but mostly intense.
Tonight’s episode was great but I have bad news folks. Coven isn’t returning until Dec. 4. That’s a two week delay. Not ok. I need more story now.
How will you handle your Coven withdrawal? What did you think of that three-way? Let me know @buzzlightmeryl