By Meryl Gottlieb| firstname.lastname@example.org| @buzzlightmeryl
Glee airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on Fox
Tonight’s episode of Glee, called “The End of Twerk,” was — you guessed it — all about twerking. Needless to say, it was utterly ridiculous, and I knew it was going to be terrible from the start. I was right. The fact that the topic wasn’t even relevant just added to my annoyance. Had this episode aired maybe in September or closer to the VMAs, it would have made a bit more sense. However, it aired this week, and it was irrelevant. The debacle over Miley Cyrus and twerking has passed, and there was no need to bring it up again. Once again, there’s no excuse to have done most of the performances in this episode other than the sheer fact they want to cover the summer’s top hits and make money.
Before we delve into the idiotic storylines at McKinley, let’s discuss the more tolerable plot in New York.
Rachel (Lea Michele) has cut her hair, and her Funny Girl director
Carlisle Cullen Rupert Campion (Peter Facinelli) is less than pleased since it violates her contract, which it states he is the one to make every teensy decision. But after she and Paolo San Pablo (Ioan Gruffudd) sing “You Are Woman, I Am Man,” Rupert realizes the new look works.
I loved this performance. Michele’s vocals were superb and I was surprised to hear Gruffudd sing; I guess Mr. Fantastic has a few more tricks up his sleeves.
Rachel didn’t actually cut her hair; it was just a wig, but Rupert still likes it. Kurt (Chris Colfer) reprimands Rachel for her risk, but she retorts with how he’s simply sat and done the same boring routine every day since Finn passed. Her grieving process, instead, involves her diving into life.
The two decide to do something dangerous — get a tattoo, after drinking liquor out in the open, of course, because who cares about being arrested for an underage? The next morning, Kurt regrets his decision since his tattoo is misspelled, reading “It’s get better” instead of “It gets better.” Even worse, Rachel tells him she couldn’t go through with it. He goes back to the parlor, furious about the issue. After a longer than expected interaction, the tattoo artist convinces Kurt that he needs to continue taking risks or he never will again. He fixes the tattoo to say, “It’s got Bette Midler” — whatever that means — and gives him a free piercing, on his tongue! Right, because someone who aspires to be a performer would definitely make that decision. To make this storyline come full circle, Rachel reveals that she did get a tattoo, Finn’s name, because it was something she could love for the “next 50 years.”
I actually liked the overall idea of this storyline. I definitely disagree with Kurt’s choices, especially the tongue piercing — that’s just stupid — but it was sweet to see Rachel’s decision. It was also a realistic look into the next stages of the grieving process after the initial months of wallowing and depression. You can either get into a safe routine or just feel the need to take risks all of a sudden. Congrats Glee, at least you weren’t all bad this week.
Now let’s address the ugly of the episode…
After Blaine (Darren Criss) is caught twerking in the choir room, Will (Matthew Morrison) decides to make it the lesson of the week. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.
Sue (Jane Lynch) declares a war on twerking and wants it banned in all Ohio public high schools. The glee club freaks out, and Will preaches how twerking is their right and it just blurs the lines between the past and the present and all this utter nonsense. It then leads into Will leading the school in a cover of “Blurred Lines,” of all songs. On a scale of one to one billion, how inappropriate is it for a teacher to sing “Blurred Lines” as he and his students twerk down the hallway? I’m going to place it at one trillion. And I’m not even going to get into the argument about whether or not Glee should be supporting “Blurred Lines.” You would think that with its past history of standing up for social issues, Glee wouldn’t do this song, but, hey, let’s just make some money, shall we?
Sue actually fires him for this, but Will just says he’s going to appeal to the school board. I’m sorry, how effective of an argument do you think you have? You are arguing for students to continue shaking their butts in the hallways? Yeah, that’s the sort of thing a school board would approve. Before he leaves, Will throws a Sue-style tantrum, and it was actually quite hilarious. I liked that throwback.
Turns out Will’s plan is to show a montage of the dances once thought too explicit and are now deemed acceptable. Twerking will fall in with those others dances in the future. Oh, sure. Cut this nonsense already. I’m so sick of hearing him preach about twerking. It’s ridiculous. There is no redeemable quality of twerking. Why are you fighting for this?!?!
In the middle of the twerking debacle, Bree (Erinn Westbrook) just tells Marley (Melissa Benoist) that she and Jake (Jacob Artist) hooked up. Marley runs to Jake, desperately hoping it’s not true only to find out it is. She runs away crying and sings “Wrecking Ball.” Alright, this is an applicable song; it’s not that great of a cover but it will do. And then it becomes the worst part of the episode. They recreate the music video. They put Marley on a wrecking ball, have her ramming into a faux-brick wall and throwing bricks through windows. The only thing that’s missing is the sledgehammer. This would have been an acceptable performance had they tried to do something different and gear it toward the show instead of recreating someone else’s idea, which wasn’t good to begin with.
Wasn’t it just last episode where Marley said she was uncomfortable revealing too much of her body? Well now she’s wearing the shortest of short shorts and a tank top. I’m sure the seashell bikini would have given you the same amount of coverage.
While all this is happening, other boys bully Unique (Alex Newell) for using the men’s restroom. She sings, “If I Were a Boy,” and it was beautiful. Thank you for having a moment of legitimacy amongst the sea of nonsense. The guys of the glee club want to fight back with violence but Unique says no. Here, I just want to point out that Ryder (Blake Jenner) is supposed to hate Unique for the catfishing incident. He’s also supposed to have quit glee club, but I guess continuing old plots to their conclusion is just too overrated.
Sue gives Unique a unisex bathroom… placed in the middle of the choir room. It’s simply too awkward for her to use it, so Will decides to open up the faculty bathroom to her any time she needs to go. He does have a nice monologue about how no one should be embarrassed to be who they are and that Unique should never just “get used to things,” however he’s still the one fighting for twerking so I’m not really sure he’s an expert anymore.
Sue offers an ultimatum: she’ll give Unique her own key to the faculty bathroom only if everyone stops twerking. Will declines. Seriously, he turns down an offer to help a student live a better life in order to keep his glee club twerking. He claims it’s about “civil disobedience.” I have never been more annoyed with Will.
Ultimately, he finally makes a good decision and ends twerking so Unique can get the key. But don’t worry, everyone is totally OK with it and celebrate with a song: “On Our Way.” I’m so sick of them ending the show on just some random big performance in the auditorium. Again, I need to ask where they are getting the money for all of these sets? How on earth does a glee club have the funding to put a big roundabout on stage? And while it may be cute to see them all being silly and running around, I’m just too annoyed with them all to enjoy their antics.