Hey boy, (sorry, I had to. The opportunity just presented itself to me, so I had to take it)
It was your birthday on Tuesday, so happy belated birthday. Now, I know this letter has been a long time coming, but I was waiting for the perfect moment to express my feelings, and I think the moment is upon us.
Now, where do I start? How do I start? I could start by saying that you are so casually handsome. It amazes me that you are actually a human being—a living, functioning, tangible person—because you emit this glorious radiance and chill demeanor that is the stuff of legends.
Whether you are in a tailored suit, bro tank, hipster glasses, a disheveled jacket, Christmas sweater, etc., you look flawless. You have a heavenly face, an infectious laugh and a heart of gold. You are a talented actor and an incredible human.
Times you’ve made me weak in the knees: when you held a sloth; when you ate pizza in the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love; when you laugh; when you talk; when you save people’s lives; when you advocate for women’s rights; every single movie you’ve ever been in and every time I’ve seen you in pictures. So in summary, you make me melt always. Yes, Ryan, always.
Now I can talk about the amazing things you’ve done that just blow me away. Take for instance saving that woman from being run over and stopping a fight on the New York streets. The love you have for your dog makes me happy. You actively support a ton of organizations such as Invisible Children, and you have traveled around war-torn regions to help raise awareness and help the cause. I think it’s wonderful that you love jazz music and would love to just sing some tunes with you. You are working on directing a movie, because what can’t you do? The answer is nothing. You can do everything.
In conclusion, Eva Mendes is a lucky gal, you are perfect and I love you.
You’re a game changer,
This laugh. Nope.