By Meryl Gottlieb| firstname.lastname@example.org| @buzzlightmeryl
Glee airs on Thursdays at 9 p.m. on Fox
And the atrocity continues with “Tina in the Sky with Diamonds.”
I am going to get up on my soapbox each week and preach about how badly Glee needs to get out of that high school, abandon the new kids and focus on the New York storylines. Nothing good came from the McKinley side of things while the few and fleeting moments of entertainment were found only in New York. Move on.
This is the third prom episode the show has done. That’s two too many. Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) was somehow nominated for Prom Queen and suddenly goes into crazy diva mode to campaign to win. Why has no one ever figured out how to write for her? She started out as a good supporting character, was then not given an ounce of dialogue for the majority of two seasons, all of a sudden tried to say she was a diva and was then ignored again. I think it’s safe to say that Tina should be pitched along with the new kids.
However, I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed when Tina began singing “Revolution” but was cut off when the bell rang and everyone left. I laughed WAY too hard at that.
Kitty (Becca Tobin) was also nominated for Prom Queen but isn’t campaigning so she can support Tina, which makes new Cheerio Bree (Erin Westbrook) angry that a Cheerio, yet again, will not win. Much like the initial writing for Kitty last season, Bree’s character is too over-the-top. We get it. You’re supposed to be the mean girl. Man, I hate this character… and this season.
In an attempt to fix the attendance issues, Sue (Jane Lynch) is requiring vaccinations, which I’m pretty sure you can’t just get in a high school nurse’s office but this show is beyond reasoning anyway so there’s no point in arguing.
Sam (Chord Overstreet) goes to the nurse’s office to find new Nurse Penny (Phoebe Strole) who is completely incompetent. She can’t give shots properly and ends up mixing a vaccination with a urine sample. I mean come on. You have to have a better idea than a ditzy nurse.
As one would assume, Sam is now smitten with Penny, who’s a sophomore in college — aka the writers’ attempt to make this relationship less scandalous. Nevertheless, it’s still a pointless and poorly written storyline. He sings “Something” as he pines for her, and it was terrible.
Chord, honey, cut your hair!! I can’t take that long mop anymore.
Rachel (Lea Michele) has been in a funk since the Funny Girl audition, so Kurt (Chris Colfer) begins singing “Get Back” in order to help her “get back” her mojo. Get it? This was the only cover I enjoyed tonight: the choreography with the pianos was cool, and Colfer and Michele sounded great together.
Santana (Naya Rivera) reveals she did a commercial for a yeast medication called Yeast-I-Stat. The ad was the only truly entertaining scene in the entire episode. Kudos to Rivera because it was top-notch comedy. “I like yeast in my bagel but not in my muffin” is just one of the gems from that bit.
Tonight was definitely Santana’s night. Not only did she shine in that commercial, but she also has a new love interest: Dani (Demi Lovato), a fellow Spotlight waitress. Santana is nervous while around her — and it’s kind of adorable — but Dani is incredibly straightforward, and Rachel ships it hard. I have to say that I loved Michele’s performance when Rachel was teasing Santana about Dani. Grade “A” comedy from Michele and Santana tonight. Congrats ladies; you’re the only ones pulling your weight on the show.
Santana stays with Dani to watch the sunrise in the diner, so naturally they sing, “Here Comes the Sun.” I’m sorry, but that’s just too literal for me. Santana walks Dani home, and the two kiss. Let the “Dantana” take over Twitter and Tumblr begin!
Also, didn’t Ryder (Blake Jenner) say he was quitting the glee club after Regionals? Well, he’s been performing with them for the past two weeks, so did he suddenly drop his irrational outrage at Unique (Alex Newell) or are the writers now ignoring that it happened?
Stoner Brett (Ryan Heinke) and Tina win Prom King and Queen. But her moment is spoiled because Bree enlisted Dottie (Pamela Chan), Tina’s assistant, to sabotage Tina’s win by spilling red slushie on her. Wow, a Carrie reference in a prom scene, how original.
Tina ugly cries but, of course, the glee club convinces her to rally and get back out there. They clean her up while singing “Hey Jude.” There is no way you would be actually clean by just using towels to get slushie off of you. That is sugary and sticky; you need a shower.
Instead of punishing Bree, Sue promotes her to head cheerleader because the glee club needs an enemy in order to do well. So you don’t accept bullying when it was against Kurt in season two but it’s not as serious now because it’s Tina? Nice double standard there.
Back at the Spotlight diner, Kurt now works there too; Santana learns she is getting a lifetime supply of Yeast-I-Stat instead of actual payment; and Rachel gets the part as Fanny Brice in Funny Girl! I’m excited that she got the role of her dreams but am sad it has to come the week before the tribute to Cory Monteith. I’m interested to see how his death will affect everything once it is finally acknowledged.
To celebrate, Rachel sings “Let It Be,” and I’m not sure why. I can understand wanting to get that classic in the mix, but I would have gone with something more upbeat to match the tone of the scene. The glee club sings along as well with the girls dressed as hippies and the boys in white suits.
Does every episode have to end on a musical number? Can no one figure out how to break that formula anymore? Don’t add in another number for the sake of just having a closing performance.
As much as I love critiquing the show each week, I don’t know how much more I can handle. The writers don’t even seem to care as the storylines get worse and worse each week. The new crop of actors — excluding Newell who always has a hilarious side comedy bit — are all terrible, and I look forward to the day when this show is over.