By Meryl Gottlieb| firstname.lastname@example.org| @buzzlightmeryl
Glee airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on Fox
I am not sure I can express my glee for this season to be over; yes, that pun was intended. Sure, there were some good moments — any time Darren Criss sang or the always-amazing one-liners from Naya Rivera — however, the end was mostly filled with terrible storylines and unnecessary performances. Welcome to Glee where they shove way too many issues down your throat while trying to drown out your screams for help with performances from the Top 100 chart.
In the oddest way to cover up Heather Morris’ pregnancy, Brittany (Morris) has received an early admittance offer from MIT, despite a 0.2 GPA. And it’s all because she somehow doodled what they are calling the “Brittany Code” on a test — a code even MIT minds do not understand.
I honestly cannot even wrap my mind around this. Did anyone think this was really the best way to send her off? It may have been funny for one moment that Brittany got a nearly perfect SAT score, but now it’s just ridiculous because everyone is taking it seriously.
Before she tells anyone, Brittany acts like a diva, and it’s not even funny. Usually, I love anything Morris does because it is hilarious. Tonight, though, was not funny. When she was trying to act different, the performance was terrible. I’m not blaming Morris entirely because the dialogue did not match the character. Even if she was going through something, Brittany could have been herself, like in the Britney Spears tribute episodes.
I must mention that I loved the throwbacks to the classic “Fondue For Two” segments. We had two of them and that was when the Brittany we all know and love shined.
Rachel (Lea Michele) has her final callback, and she sings “To Love You More.” Of course, it’s a great vocal performance, but shouldn’t a final callback for a Broadway revival require a little more than just singing? Also, Lea, honey, please stop crying every time you sing. I know, it’s your thing, but enough is enough. And that’s all we see from Rachel. Two minutes, that’s it. See you in season five.
Quick rant: why is Joe (Samuel Larsen) still around? His character does nothing. He has no storyline — beside that five-second scene with Quinn in season three — and he never sings. Larsen won The Glee Project season one, but I think that “seven episode” contract is up. Let’s write off all the other Glee Project people who had storylines or character interactions — Rory Flanagan (Damian McGinty), for instance — but keep on the one person who has never had a storyline. Ryan Murphy, look at how ridiculous your choices are.
Despite what Burt said, Blaine (Darren Criss) wants to marry Kurt (Chris Colfer). Blaine goes to a jewelry store and meets Jan (Patty Duke), the saleswoman who becomes a gay couple role model.
Blaine and Kurt go to dinner with Jan and her life-partner Liz (Meredith Baxter). The women talk about all the discrimination they have been through and about how things have changed. Blaine stares in awe while Kurt nods away. When Jan asks if they are a couple, Kurt quickly answers “No” to Blaine’s dismay. Then, Jan asks Liz to finally legally marry her, and she says yes.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m not even loving Darren Criss’ performances lately. I understand Blaine wants to be with Kurt, but Criss’ over-the-top puppy dog eyes routine and speeches about gay marriage and love are beginning to be too much.
Also, why did Murphy bring in Baxter and Duke? No one from their target demographic is going to know who they are and are not going to care that they are guest starring. If you actually know who they are, congratulations. I have respect for you. To those who do not, for shame.
Ryder (Blake Jenner) confronts the glee club about being Catfished. Oh goodness, is this not done already? Jenner can actually act; I hate that they wasted his talents on this stupidity.
Marley (Melissa Benoist) says she was the one doing it. And I don’t believe it for a second. Later, Unique (Alex Newell) comes forward and admits, truthfully, that she was the one Catfishing him. At first it started out innocent and then he told her all of those things and for the first time, she felt a connection with someone without her body issues getting in the way.
As you know, I hate this storyline, but I thought Newell’s performance was great and made me hate the conclusion less.
And now we have come to the main event: Regionals.
The New Directions’ main competition, the Hoosierdaddies, are led by Frida Romero (Jessica Sanchez). Sorry New Directions, but I preferred their song choices. With a mash-up of “Clairty” and “Wings,” Sanchez’s — who is from American Idol’s 11th season — voice shined. I loved it. Her dancing talents were another story. While the rest of the club was doing very interesting moves, Sanchez simply twisted her hips and shook her arms. Nice try, but if you want to bring in a guest star, get one who is actually a triple threat.
Before they perform, Ryder announces that he will be leaving the glee club after Regionals. Let’s take out someone who has had a storyline and can actually act, good thinking Murphy. Brittany also has a tearful goodbye because she will have to leave for MIT. Though it was beyond cheesy, it was very sweet as she proclaimed that the glee club was the first place she believed she was smart and felt accepted — the original point to the show.
The New Directions perform three songs, because they apparently do whatever they want. The boys perform “Hall of Fame,” then the girls do “I Love It” and Blaine and Marley finish with a duet to Marley’s original song “All or Nothing.”
The choreography for “Hall of Fame” consisted of too many chest poundings and white boy attempts to look cool, but congrats to Joe for finally singing this season. I cannot even comment on the vocals for “I Love It” because they were so auto-tuned that I could not tell whose voice was whose. That may be how the song is, but when you have people who can actually sing, use their real voices. “All or Nothing” was pointless. It did not fit with the tempo of the other songs, and it just seemed like Will (Matthew Morrison) was trying to re-create a Rachel-Finn moment.
Regardless, the New Directions won. Oh joy to the world.
While celebrating in the choir room, Emma (Jayma Mays) walks in with a priest. She wants to get married to Will in the choir room with only the glee club there. Yes, it is as ridiculous as it sounds. I can understand not wanting a big wedding, but this is just too much. Skipping over all the lovey-dovey “let me just marry you now” talk, the two get married.
Glee season five must mean they will tackle the issue of gay marriage. Why not? I assume they just have a checklist now to make sure they cover everything.
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