TV: Terrible storylines are taking over ‘Glee’

By Meryl Gottlieb| mg986611@ohiou.edu| @buzzlightmeryl
Glee airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on Fox
Rating: 2/ 5

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Before I begin, I have to rant for a moment about the atrocity Glee is turning into. As I have mentioned and felt for quite some time, they are trying to address way too many issues. Again, you do not need to be some social justice platform. You are a television show; try entertaining us for once or give us material that means something. How dare you do a school-shooting episode and then NOT address it after. How dare you bring up something like molestation and make it some side storyline. Cut it out and look at what you are doing. Yes, you can address tough issues but only if you actually explore them and don’t just do them to do it. I am thoroughly depressed that it was renewed for two more seasons. Darren Criss and Naya Rivera: get out while you can!

But I digress…

The lights are out at McKinley, yet school is still in session. Oh, totally realistic. And, of course, Will (Matthew Morrison) turns it into an assignment: unplugged week.

Ryder (Blake Jenner) is still talking to this person online. I am so DONE with this storyline! Why is this getting so much play? Why is it taking forever for them to tell us who it is? Why should we care?

Rachel (Lea Michele) and Kurt (Chris Colfer) tell Santana (Naya Rivera) they are worried she is wasting her time by not throwing herself into the performing world. To which she responds, “What is wrong with trying to figure things out?” Nothing! You are my favorite because she is the most realistic character — and the sassiest.

Not to mention that Rivera’s performance tonight was outstanding! Her wit was amazing as always — I live for those one-liners — and she could gather up raw emotion for scenes about her past and future. Brilliant. Love you. Please find something better worth your talents.

For Will’s assignment, Sam (Chord Overstreet) and Ryder sing “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’,” which Artie (Kevin McHale) was texting through the entire time, prompting Sam to go on a rant about how our society is so wrapped up in technology and blah blah. My goodness the storylines tonight were a bit intolerable.

Sam’s backlash prompts Artie to come up with the idea to do a Stomp-style version of “We Will Rock You.” Gee, I really enjoyed how much this song fit into the storyline; Glee is always so amazing at that. Oh, wait; no it’s not. Where do they always get the time to choreograph, set up, learn the lyrics and do the performances for all of these songs? Does no one at McKinley actually have classes?!

Sarah Jessica Parker is back as Isabelle and she is fantastic! Not only is she adorable, fashionable — as expected — and wise, but she is also the only one to mention Kurt’s father since it was announced that he had cancer in December. Seriously. Has no one thought to bring that up again?

Isabelle invites Kurt (Chris Colfer) to help her organize the New York City Ballet Gala and even allows friends to come too. Gee, I wonder who he will choose.

Sue (Jane Lynch) is now a personal trainer. Thus, we must cut to a montage of girls in the class being sexually exploited as they thrust in their weird ‘80s-wannabe workout outfits. However, I approve because Blaine (Darren Criss) was there!!!!!! My goodness. I need to compose myself after watching that. I mean just look at him:

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Yumz. Yeah. He’s that amazing. Anyway, he goes to beg Sue to come back because he is worried about the messages Roz (NeNe Leakes) is telling the Cheerios, like losing a rib for flexibility. I’m loving Roz’s one-liners.

Ryder sings “Everybody Hurts.” I’ll give him one thing: that boy can sing. He’s not too hard on the eyes either. For some reason the writers felt that a montage of being slushied was appropriate for being hurt. Oh really. That’s the worst thing they have all been through?! I’m so done.

Ryder then confesses that his babysitter molested him when he was 11-years-old. Sam and Artie do not understand why he is ashamed of it, thinking that he should proud he got some action at such a young age.

And here is what is wrong with our society. We live in a sexist rape culture. Men can be sexually harassed too. Just because they are supposed to be macho and tough doesn’t mean they can’t be shaken up about something that is incredibly mind-altering. Men are allowed to have feelings too.

Tumblr_mluochY7Lw1s59zyso7_r1_250Kitty (Becca Tobin) and Ryder go to dinner, and she tells him she was molested by her friend’s brother. Because she waited to tell, no one really believed her. Ok, I can now finally confess that I like Kitty as a character. She finally has some depth and Tobin’s acting in this episode was great.

So I’m assuming the writers now expect us to want Kitty and Ryder to get together. After tonight’s episode, it’s pretty apparent in the direction they are heading. I think these two would actually match up fairly well. I do not approve of Murphy using a molestation storyline to put these two together, but I don’t approve of most things he does.

Becky (Lauren Potter) pleads Sue to come back, but Sue says she enjoys personal training more because she finally gets the respect she deserves. That dialogue magically flows into Sue performing “Little Girls” from Annie. What a coincidence. Lynch was recently announced to play Ms. Hannigan on Broadway. Sure, the song fits but it wasn’t needed. I love Lynch, but I just was not pleased with them putting this into the show.

Santana, Rachel, Kurt and Isabelle sing “At the Ballet” from A Chorus Line. Anyone that does not love this musical — like me — probably hated that five-minute segment. I do not understand why they did the full song; even I felt like it went on too long. Although, I adored baby Kurt, Rachel and Santana at the ballet studio. Also, SJP did a phenomenal job! I usually don’t like her voice, but I must say it sounded great.

Isabelle gives Santana advice that everyone needs to hear: “Baby steps are OK.” Thank you! I still don’t understand how society expects us to decide at 18-years-old what we want to do for the rest of our life. She’s like the cool mentor everyone needs but no one knows where to find.

Ryder is still talking to the online girl because she somehow got him to open up. He is so fascinated with this girl that he blows Kitty off who had asked him out. I feel as if it would be too obvious if Kitty were Katie, so I’m not going to hands down guess that, but I’m starting to lean that way.

Hug_santanasSantana signs up for a NYADA extension dance program so she can reintroduce herself to her artist self. As she warms up, she sees her younger ballerina self who asks her to not forget her again. All the feels. I love her.

Even with the lights back on, Will has the glee club do an a cappella version of “Longest Time.” What a bunch of How I Met Your Mother copycats. I definitely preferred Barney and Ted’s version to their version. The song is wonderful originally — I mean it is Billy Joel — but they are not an a cappella group.

Also, is no one going to mention that Brittany (Heather Morris) is M.I.A.? Are they already writing her out because of Morris’ pregnancy?

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