I’m not going to pretend that everyone knows who I’m talking about when I say I’m in love with Greg James, but bear with me, because it’ll be worth your while.
Dearest Greg James,
You are so beautiful. There is absolutely no way to deny that.
I honestly had no idea who you were when I first arrived at the Big Chat with Graham Norton but every time you popped up on screen from your backstage location, I was all like ‘dang man, you are one dashing fellow.’
Naturally, as soon as I arrived home, I wanted to do some research and turns out that not only are you handsome, you have a big heart.
You have done so much for Comic Relief, and it makes me smile knowing you are out there helping people. You skinny dipped in the Zambezi to earn £50,000, you helped host the Big Chat show to raise money and you are getting the word out for Red Nose Day.
And you took part in the Comic Relief trek (during which you skinny dipped) for a five day trek, 111 km trek down the Zambezi all to raise money for charity. What a brilliant and kind man you are.
But you are also so much more than that! You are so very hard-working! You worked so hard to get where you are as a radio broadcaster. I mean, your first BBC broadcast was the day after you graduated from university.
That is skill. That is talent. That is hard work. Congratulations.
Oh, and you are also hysterical. You are skilled at changing your voice too. That was a nice touch at the Big Chat.
And if anyone needs proof that you are hysterically awesome, here it is:
(Trust me, you really want to click that for adorable hilarity)
Can I just meet you already?