TV: ‘Glee’ says “I Do” to a tremendous amount of hook-ups

By Meryl Gottlieb| mg986611@ohiou.edu| @buzzlightmeryl
Glee airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on Fox
Rating: 4/5

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Oh. My. Glee. I never thought I’d say that a storyline beat out the performances. But it did, a few times tonight. Well done, Ryan Murphy.

Everyone is back in Lima for Will (Matthew Morrison) and Emma’s (Jayma Mays) wedding, and it was better than anything I could have expected.

Emma’s OCD is in full gear as she nervously attempts to get over Finn’s (Cory Monteith) kiss and still organize last minute details for the wedding. She also tells Finn to not tell Will about what happened.

Oh boy. That is going to explode in Finn’s face one day. And I’m super excited to see it happen. I haven’t been this excited about a relationship issue since season one’s triangle between Finn, Quinn (Dianna Agron) and Puck (Mark Salling).

Of course, Will hires the glee club to perform at his wedding. He even specifically asks for Finn to sing. The awkwardness of the situation continues to get better.

Jake (Jacob Artist) has not prepared anything for Valentine’s Day, so Ryder (Blake Jenner) steps in to help him prepare a Valentine’s Week for Marley (Melissa Benoist). After each plan, the camera just oh so happens to zoom in on Ryder, who glooms off into the distance as his unrequited love tears him apart.

Oh, brother. I should care about this love triangle, but I don’t.

Rachel (Lea Michele) and Finn are heavily rekindling their past flame. Super flirty moments ensue that just show how much chemistry the couple has between them. I’m not super into the whole Finchel thing, but it was definitely an interesting storyline to pursue.

Blaine (Darren Criss) and Kurt (Chris Colfer) have a heavy scene in the back of someone’s car before the wedding. Oh my. Can I hop in on that? Woah, just kidding. But really though…

From Company, the glee cast sings “Getting Married Today,” and it’s pretty awful. Will’s voice is too deep and everyone else is incredibly awkward. The only one who shines is Emma. She perfectly captures the role the song creates. The song plays as Emma states she can’t get married today and runs away.

I was not expecting it to happen like this! I knew the wedding wouldn’t happen – it’s not in Murphy’s nature to let love live peacefully – but I didn’t expect her to run away.

Sue (Jane Lynch) is my hero. Her smart wit was at its peak as she not only tore down Will but also marched down the aisle in a replica of Emma’s wedding dress to inform him that Emma ran away. She’s brilliant, and I’m so glad she’s back.

Despite the utter embarrassment, the reception still happens because Emma’s parents paid for it and Will wants everyone to still have a good time. And they do. I’m sorry; this is all kinds of wrong. Your mentor was just left at the altar and you all just go party and dance.

Emma had asked Artie (Kevin McHale) to look after her niece Betty (Ali Stroker). ALI STROKER WAS ON GLEE. You know, from The Glee Project season two; the girl who everyone loved, yet she somehow lost. I AM SO PUMPED. I loved her then, and I love her now! I am so overly thrilled that Artie is getting a storyline again. I was really sad to see his talents being wasted since season one.

Betty is kind of awful toward Artie at first, but then they dance at the wedding and all is well. So excited and so hopeful. WOO!

Kurt and Blaine duet to “Just Can’t Get Enough,” and I loved life. Fabulous performance.

So much happens during and after the reception. I can’t wrap my mind around it!

Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) confronts Kurt about his treatment of Blaine. She let it slips about putting vapor rub on Blaine’s chest, and Kurt gets all sassy and I love it. He yells, “You vapor-raped my ex-boyfriend?!” Beautiful.

Rachel catches the bouquet. Finn then wonders why she even lined up to catch it since she’s supposedly dating Brody (Dean Geyer). Good point, Hudson. While playing a game of “She Loves Me/ She Loves Me Not” with a flower, he flirtatiously tells Rachel that he thinks she’s still in love with him and that’s why she can’t commit to Brody. She doesn’t deny it either!

The two duet to “We’ve Got Tonite,” and all hell breaks loose.

It ends up with Rachel and Finn going into a hotel room together, Blaine and Kurt getting a room, Artie and Betty hooking up, Marley and Jake entering a room, and Quinn and Santana hooking up!

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WHAT ON EARTH JUST HAPPENED!!!!!!

It’s not Nip/Tuck, Murphy.

 

 

Despite their hook-up, Kurt continually insists that he and Blaine are not back together, though Blaine is quite hopeful. Rachel leaves before Finn wakes up. Artie and Betty are sure to be a new couple. Quinn says it was a one-time thing, but I doubt that. Unfortunately for Jake, he and Marley don’t do anything; thank goodness, that was way too much hooking up for one scene.

Back in New York, Rachel finds that Brody has decorated the apartment just for her. She tells him that she was with Finn, but he lies about being a gigolo. Oh man, that is going to end badly. I’m not too sure I like him anymore. Plus, their relationship is just weird.

Marley tells Ryder she knows he helped Jake plan the week. He tells her he did it for her, for his real love. Then he kisses her. Well things are about to get interesting. Do I sense a bro-fight approaching? I hope so.

The glee club performs “Anything Can Happen” just so they can add it to their pop hits list. The song made no sense and had no reason to be included until the last scene when Rachel checks her planner and takes a pregnancy test!!!!!

I swear, if she’s pregnant, I will not know what to do. This cannot happen to her. I think it would be incredibly interesting but her future would be ruined. Personally, I think it’s just a cliffhanger Murphy wanted to use to keep us on the edge of our seats during the three-week hiatus.

Congrats, Ryan. I’ll be hyperventilating until then. I’ll send you my hospital bills.

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