TV: AHS will blow you away

By Meryl Gottlieb| mg986611@ohiou.edu| @buzzlightmeryl
American Horror Story airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on FX
Rating: 4.5/ 5

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Let me first say, this episode would receive a 5 out of 5 had Dylan McDermott not been a part of the show. He literally was the only thing I did not like about the entire episode.

Dylan McDermott is John Morgan – the son of Bloody Face. While that was a startling discovery, can we talk about McDermott’s terrible acting? He’s trying to pull off the low-toned, scruffy serial killer attitude/look, and someone needs to tell him it is NOT working.

Ryan Murphy, get him off the show now. However, I will take this moment to praise you, Mr. Murphy, on a job well done for tonight. But we’ll get into that later.

Sister Mary Eunice (Lily Rabe) throws a whole lot of sass at Lana (Sarah Paulson) about her condition – her pregnancy. Lana does not want to keep the child, but Mary Eunice refuses to let her abort it. Listen, I understand completely why you don’t want that kid but what luck do you think you’ll have in convincing a Catholic nun of aborting a child? My guess would be not much.

Side note: once again can I just say Lily Rabe, Jessica Lange and Zachary Quinto ALL deserve Emmys for their performances on this show. I’m going to say this one thousand times until they all win.

Jude (Jessica Lange) wakes up and is constrained in a bed in Briarcliff. Mary Eunice, the Monsignor (Joseph Fiennes), Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) and Lee (Ian McShane) all testified saying that Jude killed Frank and that she has been showing signs of mental instability. Thus, she is NOW A PATIENT!!!! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!

I can’t even handle my emotions. Jessica Lange has always played the character in power on this show, so my mind cannot handle to see her as a commoner. Also, another Emmy plug: Jessica Lange is perfection on this show!!!! I have never seen a transformation of a character handled more beautifully and emotionally as Lange did with Sister Jude. Perfection.

Arden revisits the tunnels to search for clues after what happened with Grace (Lizzie Brocheré). He finds a footprint from the aliens!

Lana wants to kill Thredson (Zachary Quinto) because of the pregnancy, but Kit (Evan Peters) urges her to stick with the plan of getting him to confess so that Kit can go free.

She goes to Thredson and threatens to kill the child by doing a wire hanger abortion right then and there! What on earth is going on?! I can’t even look. Thredson, of course, is freaking out because he doesn’t want his child murdered or put into the system like he was, so he tells the truth, and Kit records it.

Thredson is obviously mad at them for their trickery but is even more furious when Lana informs him she already did the wire hanger abortion. All the feels happened when they cut to that scene. I can’t handle this anymore. I’m in a glass case of emotion.

As Kit is hiding the tapes in the bathroom, Arden finds him and wants to talk about the aliens. He tells Kit his plan to kill Kit in order to bring the aliens back since he believes the aliens have some sort of fixation or plan for Kit.

Thankfully though, he is not going to kill Kit for good. He’s just going to almost kill him. Phew. Boy do I feel better with that justification – not.

The Monsignor has an odd affection for Lee, who claims he wishes to reform and repent for his sins. The Monsignor still has aspirations to be in Rome, thus he believes reforming Lee is the ticket. If he can save him, he can save anyone. Wrong-o.

The Monsignor re-baptizes an unshackled Lee in a huge basin of holy water. And of course, Lee turns around and submerges the Monsignor into the basin to drown him. I’m not Christian, but aren’t those things for babies; why was it so huge? I’m pretty sure that was just a set up for failure.

Now that they have his confession, Lana plans on killing Thredson. However, when she goes to the storage room, he is not there. She runs into Mary Eunice on her way back and discovers that Mary Eunice is the one who let him out. Mary Eunice also informs her that her child is still alive and that it is a boy.

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Back to the present, Morgan killed the therapist he went to see at the beginning of the episode. This would be a chilling scene if he didn’t look like a truck driver covered in red paint.

Jude meets with Lana in the lobby and apologizes to her and promises to get her out of Briarcliff. Because that worked out well the last time someone said that. Jude also promises that she will earn Lana’s trust. I cannot wait to see these two interact more together; it’s going to be great!

Guys, a half naked Evan Peters was on tonight’s episode, and he is just supermegafoxyawesomehot. (Super kudos to you if you get that reference!)

Anyway, Arden injects potassium chloride into Kit to kill him. He has two minutes afterwards to revive him or else Kit dies.

Soon after he injects Kit, the bright light returns and leads Arden to that room where Leo’s arm was torn off in the season premiere. There, he finds Pepper (Naomi Grossman) tending to a full term pregnant Grace!! WHAT??!!!

Is that what the monster was that tore off Leo’s arm? Is that the actual baby of Bloody Face – which would mean Kit becomes Bloody Face since that is his and Grace’s child, most likely? I can’t even think right now. I don’t understand anything when it comes to scenes dealing with the aliens.

But, hello, he is ignoring Kit! I’m pretty sure those two minutes are up! If you kill Evan Peters’s character, I will never forgive you.

The Monsignor is found tied to the crucifix of the church he and Lee were in; the Dark Angel (Frances Conroy) reassures him after he asks for help. This would be a great cliffhanger had the previews for the next episode not shown the Monsignor in it! Geez Ryan Murphy, spoilers!

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So many thoughts, so many plot twists, and so long of a break since new episodes don’t return until January 2!

In the mean time: just freak out, because that’s what I’m going to do.

My mind is blown.

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