Robert Downey Jr.,
I’m going to start this letter off by asking a very simple question: WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECT?
I can’t handle it. I really can’t, and that’s not good for my health.
Reasons you are perfect: You are Iron Man, you are Tony Stark, you played Charlie Chaplin, your face, you overcame challenges, your humor, your sarcasm, your face, you are Sherlock Holmes, you were on SNL for a season, your smile and your face.
I could watch your interviews and movies all day long, and scrolling through your tag on Tumblr is also a favorite past time of mine.
You, sir, are one of my favorite people, and if I were to ever meet you, I would promptly proceed to hyperventilate, pass out and die. But if that happens, just know that I died happy at the opportunity to meet you.
I also want to praise you and your wife Susan for being absolutely adorable.
Susan, I’ll have you know, grew up two hours from me, so she gives me hope that I too may end up with someone as perfect as you.
Sure, that might not mean much, but let me pretend it does. Kay, thanks.
So I guess I’ll let you go now, but let me just reiterate by saying, I admire you so much and think you are a splendid (and extremely good-looking) human being.
I wish you the best of luck, and I cannot wait to see Iron Man 3. I think I might have cried at the preview.
You are Iron Man, and I bow down.